"It's not what you say, it's how you say it."
I've heard this maxim my whole life. I don't remember who laid the phrase on me the first time, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was one of my parents. I know each of my children have heard it a multitude of times coming from my mouth. I've never really questioned the veracity of the statement before; however, I think I've always been troubled by it. At a subconscious level it has irritated me like a burr in a saddle blanket. I don't care how you say "You smell like shit, and I hope you die a horrible death." Hearing it directed at you sucks big time.
On the other hand, as a comedian postulated on The Comedy Network, there is a difference between saying "I like kids" in a clear and audible tone and whispering the same phrase quietly under your breath. The first one will garner admiration for caring about the youth of your community and the latter will get you community service and a sign in your front yard.
So what's the truth? As with most things, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. There are some things that simply can't be said without hurting, offending or angering folks. You can say them with a smile or you can bite the words off with a sneer; however, the message carries its own weight and the meaning is universal. There are other things that can be said where every nuance can affect how your audience reacts to it.
All in all, I guess I'm a believer; however, I'm not an apostolate. I think I prefer saying whatever is on my mind any old way that suits me. I'll let the rest of the world worry about how I said it. Besides, I'm pretty sure most of what I have to say falls into the category of "Carries Its Own Weight".
